When our book is released you’ll find out how flowers and being a good green queen are critical to a bitch’s karmic happiness (and her wallet).

Today though, we’ll wax poetic about beans (legumes, too) and “Second Hand Rose” finds. Just the other day we stopped at a random yard sale, totally uncertain if it was a permanent fixture or the real deal. (You know those “estate sales” in your neighborhood that have become like a strip-mall roadside stop? Same junk every weekend. Sunday drivers who don’t live nearby, thinking they’ve stumbled upon a fab real life clean-out-everything sale, stop unsuspectingly in search of a precious hidden gem, only to find heaps of detritus.) We took a gamble. Hidden on that folding table, nearly obscured by all the FTD castoffs, we came across these three fantastic vintage clear-glass vases. A buck each.

Okay, you say—so what?  Cute vases. Eh.

It’s not really about the vases, it’s about how you use them (isn’t that what guys with little feet and little hands say?).

Normally we’d find a way to use flowers or greens in these cuties, but sadly the shelf we wanted to use didn’t have enough clearance above to keep anything erect. (Any parallels in your life?) In any case, our budget is limited and replacing three vases of flowers every week in an out-of-the-way location is too frivolous, even with our passion for flora. What did we do?

What any bitch would do. We went to the kitchen in search of food. We opened a bag of black lentils and filled ‘em up.

Tell us what you think and what other clever bitchin’ tips you have to save the life of your vases.