Ah, New Year’s Eve—otherwise know as “Last Chance of the Year to Spend Money You Don’t Have So You Can Wake Up Hungover, Dehydrated, and Emotionally/Financially Depleted.” Uh… hooray?
Let’s put this out there: No holiday has a higher potential for being utterly depressing than New Year’s Eve. In theory it’s great, sure, but wouldn’t it be better if it happened on a Saturday in the middle of July? Hard to party wholeheartedly on a weeknight in the midst of freezing cold winter, bankbooks newly depleted from holiday shopping, nerves raw from family chaos. Really now. Not the best moment for lifting champagne glasses.
And yet champagne we must lift. It’s a new year after all—a new decade!—and you’re taught to feel like a heathen if you don’t ring it in with style.
Here’s how to celebrate and keep your sanity:
Browse the local calendar. Lots of towns do cool, cheap things (concerts, fireworks, art showings) that’ll get you out of the house. (We’re not the kind of bitches who go for the Polar Bear Swim thing, but, hey, if jumping naked into 35-degree water gets your heart pumping, more power to you.) Take a look at your newspaper; you may be surprised by the offerings.
Eat casual. Chances are you spent hours and hours in the kitchen on Thanksgiving and Hannukah and Christmas. Why not order in? Pizza, Chinese, Indian. Swing by Trader Joe’s for their impressive assortment of frozen appetizers. A nice change of pace after all the foodie fussing of the holidays.
Games. Call us Pollyannas, but there’s nothing sweeter, simpler, and cheaper than inviting a group over for good old-fashioned charades. Taboo is also a classic. Or run out and buy our new complete obsession Bananagrams. Get drunk on the goofy inanity of play.
Movies. No plans yet? Are you tempted to visit some swanky bar and consume overpriced, watered-down drinks while cheesy, slick-haired guys sidle up next to you, trying to get it one last time before the decade ends? Please. There are two ways to manage this: slip on a pair of 3-D glasses and see the best movie we’ve seen in about a decade Avatar. Or escape with Sherlock Holmes, starring Jude Law. Better to fantasize about Mr. Law than to bring Mr. Lawless into your bed just because you feel obligated to end the New Year with a bang.
Be your own bang, bitches.