We’ve been thinking about shoes and why we love them. Why is it we have so many pairs and they are all so different? (One might argue that the twelve pair of basic black heels in our closet are all the same, but they’d be missing their complex nuances: the slightly different heel heights, subtly different toecaps, variations in leather grain.) Do men have shoe envy? No. They lust after us (that’s why Tiger, Letterman, Spitzer, etc. got into trouble)… and cars and weapons.
Anyway, recently we were window-shopping on our way to the taping of the Colbert Report (not us; our brother-in-law, the AK 47 history-genius, shared with the country that the Kalashnikov is more reliable than Microsoft Windows, like, duh). Although we were running late, the complex architectural build up of the latest platform shoes caught our eye and we spent considerable time calculating where our center of gravity would reside. Would we topple over in them? Surely we’d be hobbled like an ancient bound-foot Chinese woman. We passed by.
We didn’t get but two blocks before we were stopped dead in our tracks by the most stunning, most simple, most elegant over-the-knee black boot. These were perfect. Tall, lean, aristocratic. At once soft, supple, hard, and stately. Best of all, this boot had a long zipper up the back. It was the sexiest article of clothing we had ever seen. Ever. We wanted to stop and make it ours. Yes, we may be Bitches on a Budget, but this fell into our splurge-worthy category if any item in the history of time ever did. But we knew the guys at the TV studio wouldn’t let us in if we were tardy, and — never mind missing our brother-in-law or Colbert — we wouldn’t get to meet Elvis Costello and his glasses (which are now #2 on our must have list). So we marched on.
We left town the next day and had no time to run back to the shop. Now we have the worst case of unrequited lust in our hearts for that perfect boot. Which we had almost gotten over until we read that Michelle Obama just ordered a pair of Robert Clergerie from Paris. Now we have double-lusting-envy (an awful disease) — our all time favorite shoemaker making Mrs. O a custom pair of thigh-high boots. Drool.
It’s left us wondering: what is it about shoes? Do they mirror our innermost fantasies? Are they ready-made embodiments of our various identities? Work boots, hikers, peep-toes, ballet shoes, stilettos, oxfords, flats, Keds. Perhaps they’re each simply a reflection of the complexity of every modern woman — wife, mother, sister, daughter, party-girl, lover, worker, power broker, on and on. No other accessory can so entirely embody and transform our self-conception.
Well, for now we’ll keep on coveting Michelle Obama’s new boots (they fall into our super-splurge category). And we’ll start our search for those gorgeous babies glimpsed so fleetingly in that Manhattan window (they should be on sale by now). If ever any shoe was the embodiment of all our feminine contradictions this tall strider was it, and now we’re on the hunt.
Whose shoes do you choose?
This is an abridged version of a story we originally wrote for the Huffington Post.
43 comments
Therese's Pieces via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
At least four to six every style lol
Trace' Robinson via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Too damn many! LOL! Need some different colors :))
Amber Nicole via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Not enough.
Nic Nac via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
7 + lol
Lys Nunez via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Lots LOL,and they keep adding up
Susan Doyle via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Too many
Rebecca Gilliam Surack via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
umm too many to count lol.
Kelly Jackson via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Not Nearly Enough 🙂
Tobi Nikki Jackson via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
too many..i’m embarrased to say. I always say I’m going to do other colors and I may dip and dabble, but I always end up buying another pair of black shoes. What is up with that? lol
Noemi Romero via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Cant count that high 🙂
Gretta Miller Sweeney via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
I”m down to about 3 now (SAHM with no money) but when I was a single career gal, more than 20 at some point.
Jill Savage via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Everything in there is black
Kimberly Mason via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
I also only have black dress shoes. I think only about 3 pair, plus a pair of black boots.
Gretchen Robinson via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
I have three pairs of black shoes. But a ton of boots.
Kristina Heard via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
To many! Lol
Irene Hernandez Standke via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
12. Black is my favorite color….
LaTonya Kennedy via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
At least 7 but my bf has put me on shoe restrictions
Pam Potts Hannis via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Six.
Fredrica Singleton Cosby via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Don’t even get me started….LOL!!!
Shawnta' Radford via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
i have about 90 pair of shoes…..mayb 50 are BLACK!……a shoe looks its BEST n black…….ANY style…..boot, tennie, sandal, flat, heel, wedge….lol, shall i go on!
Lynn Croxton via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Black goes with everything, makes your feet look smaller and doesn’t show dirt. What’s not to love? I have about 10 pairs of black shoes and boots and hardly any in any other colors.
James Clark via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Do galoshes count?
Dorothy Tyon via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
I counted 15 pairs of black shoes, 2 pairs of black boots, a pair of brown Skecher clogs and a pair of White Skecher Shape-Ups. Total: 19.
Shonte Foster via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
My daughter says my closet looks like a store but I say wayyyy too many to count but my favs are colored! #teamstilettos
Janet Meddows via Facebook says:
Dec 10, 2011
Lots. Namely boots. ‘Nuff said.
Jodi Olson Boecker via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
7 for me!
Casey Worth via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
Not enough 🙂
Tracy Lynn via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
I sincerely don’t have enough, but I won’t complain lol
Tracy Lynn via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
However, I do have a boot fetish
Verónica Leyva via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
About half of my shoe inventory is black.
Bridget Ann Stuart via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
5
Maria Zagar via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
WE erik low mm.
Tracy Sanders Crawford via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
Most of them. All the same style too. I’m in a rut. Someone help me.
Mary Hull via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
I have 3 pairs.
Angelique Christensen via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
25 plus……
Candi Aston Baker via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
More than I deserve.
Roxanne Romano via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
Almost all of them.
Elizabeth Pool Allen via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
17 for me.
Judy Fitzgerald Rice via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
Just six- flats, sandals, shooties, casual sneakers, walking sneakers and my Zumba shoes. 🙂 I’m not much of a shoes whore because I can’t afford to be. lol
Melanie Pancho via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
Probably about a dozen. I can’t wear heels, so most of them are some variation of Converse All Stars (my favourite!) or other flat shoe. If I COULD wear heels…Lord only knows how many pairs of black shoes I’d have! 😛
Brenda Thibault via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
never enough
Jennifer Elaine Barker Mshindo via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
At least 8 I can think of.
Tammy Beisiegel via Facebook says:
Dec 11, 2011
Have way to many shoes to count well ok i know how many pairs i have but im not telling LOL!!