Got a colicky baby?

If you’re not sure, you don’t.

Colic is mysterious, mind-numbing, bond-threatening, and short-lived. That said, it’s very, very hard to believe it’s short-lived when you’re in the midst of it.

Here’s what a new mama dealing with a squalling bundle of “joy” (and limited budget) needs to do:

*Be cheesy. Carry an index card in your pocket that says, in big letters: “THIS WILL PASS. REALLY.”

*Resist the urge to drug your child.

*Resist the urge to drug yourself.

*Wear these earplugs.

*Invest in a sling that replicates a womb-like experience. This one from Kangaroo Korner saved our sanity. An investment, but totally worth it. (Tip: save all packaging materials so you can re-sell on Craig’s List once your babe’s been transformed to a sweetly-cooing, toothlessly-grinning creature fit for a Gerber commercial.)

*Become a swaddle master. Burrito that fussy baby!

*Did we mention earplugs? Use them. Your blood pressure will thank you.

*Never, ever shake the baby.

*If you feel like crap, get support. Your community’s bound to offer free support groups and/or a hotline.

*Remember it’ll pass.

*Resist the urge to drug yourself—but don’t forget the power of an occasional martini.

* Finally, let yourself vent. We’ve been there ourselves, so spew your frustration to our inbox. Bitch, bitch.